Well, Allie and Gabe have influenza. Time to put my money where my mouth is regarding that vaccination I refused to get :)
Allie is almost over it- her white count is in normal range, although she isn't eating again yet, and she looks like the walking dead (ok, so she's unable/refusing to walk still, but you get it). Gabe is obviously not feeling too good, poor guy. Those of you who have cared for him at church wouldn't believe this is the same kid- he slept all day, and then slept on his dad for 90 minutes at urgent care. In fact, he's sleeping now! Eva and I aren't sick, and while Jeff felt yucky this morning, he's doing ok now. There's no doubt I've been exposed, but so far I feel fine. Let's hope it stays that way! Thanks to Gabe nursing, I'm sure my body is making antibodies for both of us, so it might be my system will kill it off without me ever knowing I had it. Neat how that works.
We'll miss you all on Sunday. No bringing the kids out till they're better- doctor's orders. Not that we'd want to. Poor kids.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Restless
For some reason I can't bring myself to settle down and go to bed yet. It's late, and I know we have to get up at 7 tomorrow as part of our newly begun program to get the kids to sleep by a decent hour, but I feel sort of edgy and wakeful. I keep reading blogs or looking at baby carriers online and getting up every half hour to prowl the house a little.
Tomorrow I'm seeing my midwife again. Last time she was here, I had a few of the symptoms of preeclampsia. I'm really hoping they've resolved. High blood pressure in particular is something I've never dealt with before in my life, so it's a little worrisome.
I also discovered that I have an abcessed tooth yesterday. Yippee. It doesn't really hurt, which is why I only noticed by accident. I have an appointment Tuesday to get it checked out and maybe fixed, depending on the time they have available. I have to get a mouth xray, which I know is a pretty minimal danger compared to the risk of allowing the infection to continue and possibly spread, but I still don't like the idea of radiation coming anywhere near me and this baby. Another reason to hope that my blood pressure is down is the long period of time I will be supine in the dentist's chair- which will mean the main artery carrying blood to my lower body will be partially compromised by the baby's weight pressing on it, causing my BP to rise to compensate...really makes you wonder why so many women are still forced to labor and deliver on their backs. I've never had a root canal before, so I'm kind of dreading it, especially because my choice of post-procedural pain relief is rather limited (let's see....tylenol....or, hmm, tylenol? decisions, decisions).
At the same time, I'm excited to have my midwife visit us again, especially since Jeff wasn't able to be here last time. And I'm hoping that this time the baby is better positioned for me to hear hir (that's my intentional attempt at a gender-neutral misspelling there) heartbeat. Last time, I only got to listen to the placenta, which was still pretty neat. Kind of a whoosh-whoosh wavelike sound (it reminded me of putting a seashell to my ear). My friend Reb in TX (the angel responsible for backing the Vecinos booksale/fundraiser) has me half-convinced to waterbirth this time. I know from experience that I probably won't really strictly need it, but I also know that a warm shower has immensely helped me during labor past times, so it might be nice. I just have to decide if it's worth the hassle of setting up a tub or pool and filling it. This is my last chance to try it, so I'm certainly tempted. The drawback would be it would have to be set up in the living room- which could be distracting for me if anyone is messing around in the connected kitchen.
It feels really odd to be talking about this birth in terms of living room and shower. With the exception of the aforementioned Reb, who is having her second homebirth a month or so after I am due, I know of no one else who is not opting to go to the hospital. It doesn't make me angry or sad or anything- I don't think it's a right-or-wrong issue, or that hospital birth is a terrible thing- but my position is sort of alienating. What makes me sad is, I'm sort of locked out of the normal cultural trappings of birth. I haven't had an ultrasound, or a triple screen, or a glucose tolerance test. I get to listen to my baby on a regular old stethoscope, not an amplified Doppler. I don't go to the doctor, my midwife comes to visit me. No one has been less than supportive- that's not what I'm getting at. It's that I wish like crazy I was more able to blend in; be part of the group. I wish I didn't always seem to be isolated by my choices.
I'm sure part of it is just being a 4w5- I think that's kind of a double whammy in terms of living with a certain amount of isolation and social awkwardness (I'm the Bohemian, for those looking to connect the numbers with a title). But sometimes it seems like I'm just programmed to find ways of increasing the awkwardness and isolation. I complain to Jeff sometimes that I just can't do anything in a normal fashion. I'm factory pre-set on "eccentric". And I know that part of me deeply values that- my refusal to pretend I'm like everyone else is a source of great self-worth...and that probably sounds arrogant until you realize that my other choice is to hate myself for something I have no control over- not that liking myself for it is rational, but it is more comfortable. But it's crazy-making too. Try as I might, I suck at chit-chat and other social niceties.
It's not that I want desperately to be like everyone else. I just want to be enough like everyone else that people can tell that I genuinely like them and enjoy their company. Maybe I just need to go to finishing school.
Tomorrow I'm seeing my midwife again. Last time she was here, I had a few of the symptoms of preeclampsia. I'm really hoping they've resolved. High blood pressure in particular is something I've never dealt with before in my life, so it's a little worrisome.
I also discovered that I have an abcessed tooth yesterday. Yippee. It doesn't really hurt, which is why I only noticed by accident. I have an appointment Tuesday to get it checked out and maybe fixed, depending on the time they have available. I have to get a mouth xray, which I know is a pretty minimal danger compared to the risk of allowing the infection to continue and possibly spread, but I still don't like the idea of radiation coming anywhere near me and this baby. Another reason to hope that my blood pressure is down is the long period of time I will be supine in the dentist's chair- which will mean the main artery carrying blood to my lower body will be partially compromised by the baby's weight pressing on it, causing my BP to rise to compensate...really makes you wonder why so many women are still forced to labor and deliver on their backs. I've never had a root canal before, so I'm kind of dreading it, especially because my choice of post-procedural pain relief is rather limited (let's see....tylenol....or, hmm, tylenol? decisions, decisions).
At the same time, I'm excited to have my midwife visit us again, especially since Jeff wasn't able to be here last time. And I'm hoping that this time the baby is better positioned for me to hear hir (that's my intentional attempt at a gender-neutral misspelling there) heartbeat. Last time, I only got to listen to the placenta, which was still pretty neat. Kind of a whoosh-whoosh wavelike sound (it reminded me of putting a seashell to my ear). My friend Reb in TX (the angel responsible for backing the Vecinos booksale/fundraiser) has me half-convinced to waterbirth this time. I know from experience that I probably won't really strictly need it, but I also know that a warm shower has immensely helped me during labor past times, so it might be nice. I just have to decide if it's worth the hassle of setting up a tub or pool and filling it. This is my last chance to try it, so I'm certainly tempted. The drawback would be it would have to be set up in the living room- which could be distracting for me if anyone is messing around in the connected kitchen.
It feels really odd to be talking about this birth in terms of living room and shower. With the exception of the aforementioned Reb, who is having her second homebirth a month or so after I am due, I know of no one else who is not opting to go to the hospital. It doesn't make me angry or sad or anything- I don't think it's a right-or-wrong issue, or that hospital birth is a terrible thing- but my position is sort of alienating. What makes me sad is, I'm sort of locked out of the normal cultural trappings of birth. I haven't had an ultrasound, or a triple screen, or a glucose tolerance test. I get to listen to my baby on a regular old stethoscope, not an amplified Doppler. I don't go to the doctor, my midwife comes to visit me. No one has been less than supportive- that's not what I'm getting at. It's that I wish like crazy I was more able to blend in; be part of the group. I wish I didn't always seem to be isolated by my choices.
I'm sure part of it is just being a 4w5- I think that's kind of a double whammy in terms of living with a certain amount of isolation and social awkwardness (I'm the Bohemian, for those looking to connect the numbers with a title). But sometimes it seems like I'm just programmed to find ways of increasing the awkwardness and isolation. I complain to Jeff sometimes that I just can't do anything in a normal fashion. I'm factory pre-set on "eccentric". And I know that part of me deeply values that- my refusal to pretend I'm like everyone else is a source of great self-worth...and that probably sounds arrogant until you realize that my other choice is to hate myself for something I have no control over- not that liking myself for it is rational, but it is more comfortable. But it's crazy-making too. Try as I might, I suck at chit-chat and other social niceties.
It's not that I want desperately to be like everyone else. I just want to be enough like everyone else that people can tell that I genuinely like them and enjoy their company. Maybe I just need to go to finishing school.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
I've been neglecting you...
You know, I had this halfway-long post written, and I hated all of it. Completely. Buh-bye.
So all I'm going to say for now is, I'm really happy to have made it to this point in my pregnancy- Gabe and Eva were born at 29 weeks gestation, which I am now, and I was a little nervous that I wouldn't make it this far. And I'm really happy to be diaper shopping- we're doing fitteds this time, which are adorable although pricier, and yes, I know most of you are staring at your screens in confusion at this point, but I know what I mean, and I love buying diapers so much that your confusion is really rather endearing. You're cute when you wrinkle your foreheads that way! Here's a dictionary for anyone interested in the joys of diapers that need to be washed. If not, I'm afraid I really don't have much of anything for you...which makes me feel terrible!
I'll find a way to make it up to you. Promise.
So all I'm going to say for now is, I'm really happy to have made it to this point in my pregnancy- Gabe and Eva were born at 29 weeks gestation, which I am now, and I was a little nervous that I wouldn't make it this far. And I'm really happy to be diaper shopping- we're doing fitteds this time, which are adorable although pricier, and yes, I know most of you are staring at your screens in confusion at this point, but I know what I mean, and I love buying diapers so much that your confusion is really rather endearing. You're cute when you wrinkle your foreheads that way! Here's a dictionary for anyone interested in the joys of diapers that need to be washed. If not, I'm afraid I really don't have much of anything for you...which makes me feel terrible!
I'll find a way to make it up to you. Promise.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Happy New Year
All the kids are finally asleep. Cross your fingers that I'll finally get to see my midwife for an exam on Tuesday. I need it badly. Now that I'm heading really, really fast toward when Gabe and Eva came (29 weeks- I'm 25, and an average pregnancy is 40), I'm getting antsy. I don't want to go through the NICU again. I don't want to go to a hospital again, unless it's absolutely necessary.
I am hoping that with my holiday slump past and my decision not to return to school for spring semester, I'll have more time to blog. Priorities, right? For the record, though, I just checked my grades- 3 A's and a D (that would be phy. ed.- due to my post-retreat sciatica attack in October, I fell behind in logging hours in the fitness center and never caught up. Oh well). Yay me! Now I'm only 16 credits from my AA!
I don't have much to write right now- the things that have been crowding my mind for the past 3 weeks are, predictably, absent. So read this instead (thanks to Sarah for the great article).
I am hoping that with my holiday slump past and my decision not to return to school for spring semester, I'll have more time to blog. Priorities, right? For the record, though, I just checked my grades- 3 A's and a D (that would be phy. ed.- due to my post-retreat sciatica attack in October, I fell behind in logging hours in the fitness center and never caught up. Oh well). Yay me! Now I'm only 16 credits from my AA!
I don't have much to write right now- the things that have been crowding my mind for the past 3 weeks are, predictably, absent. So read this instead (thanks to Sarah for the great article).
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
For the second day in a row, I ended up throwing up my breakfast. I can't figure out why, yesterday I had Cheerios and banana, today I had raisin bran (superstitiously- wondering if having Cheerios again would provoke a repeat). Jeff is giving my body little pep talks, telling it it is pregnant, not bulimic. Apparently, it's confused. The only thing I can think of is, maybe my light box is somehow triggering this? I use it while I eat breakfast- I don't know what the connection would be, but I can't come up with anything else. I have to remember that two days in a row might be a coincidence, not a pattern.
I can definitely tell that the light is working. I feel a bit more energetic, I don't have the urge to nap every day at 3 (although the urge to nap at 10- in my business class- is unchanged), I actually sat down and played playdoh with Gabe and Eva yesterday. I can't remember the last time I sat down and played something kind of messy with them. We have a lot of physical games we play, but nothing arty, which is sad. Allie loves to paint and sculpt and draw- and that's fine, because I don't have to sit and watch to make sure she doesn't paint the walls or eat the playdoh. So I've been lazy with Gabe and Eva because I haven't felt up to watchdogging the process, and I didn't want to end up with blue walls (I already have a pink one, thanks to Eva and Crayola sidewalk chalk).
So much needs to be done to our house- maintenance and renovation. Obviously we don't want to put tons of money into a house that's worth $5K, but it would be nice to repaint the kitchen and living room, and replace the surface of the deck. I just don't know when we'd find the time.
I can definitely tell that the light is working. I feel a bit more energetic, I don't have the urge to nap every day at 3 (although the urge to nap at 10- in my business class- is unchanged), I actually sat down and played playdoh with Gabe and Eva yesterday. I can't remember the last time I sat down and played something kind of messy with them. We have a lot of physical games we play, but nothing arty, which is sad. Allie loves to paint and sculpt and draw- and that's fine, because I don't have to sit and watch to make sure she doesn't paint the walls or eat the playdoh. So I've been lazy with Gabe and Eva because I haven't felt up to watchdogging the process, and I didn't want to end up with blue walls (I already have a pink one, thanks to Eva and Crayola sidewalk chalk).
So much needs to be done to our house- maintenance and renovation. Obviously we don't want to put tons of money into a house that's worth $5K, but it would be nice to repaint the kitchen and living room, and replace the surface of the deck. I just don't know when we'd find the time.
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