I threw out my back pretty good this weekend, so I have to keep this short, or risk excruciating pain when I get up off the chair...
We saw our midwife again Saturday, and she's satisfied that I'm only carrying one. It's a big relief for us. Everything else numbers-wise still supports the one-baby theory, so I'm finally relaxing about this. The phantom kicks I get in odd spots must just be due to the extra room this baby has to stretch out in thanks to the extra fluid. I haven't asked for a size guess yet- I don't know if I will, or if I'll let myself be totally surprised.
This back pain has me in some major stage fright regarding labor. You'd think I'd be over this, having labored twice before without drugs (once against my will, of course), but no. I'm not as keyed up as I was waiting to go into labor with Allie, but I'm still genuinely nervous about it. One thing I'm thankful for as far as homebirth is that I just won't have access to drugs. And I know the idea of going to the hospital for them is enough to get me through the most impossible contraction. Both my hospital experiences with the other two births were mostly pleasant ones, but I really don't like hospitals. At all.
For now, Blinky is stubbornly insisting on remaining posterior. It made it really hard to hear heart tones Saturday- what can you do when you have to listen through the arms baby has crossed on hir chest? And, incidentally, when those same arms are being used to punch the fetoscope at every opportunity? What is it about my body that makes my kids gestate in such weird positions? Allie was actually born posterior, which only happens in about 1% of deliveries, and Gabe and Eva were breech and transverse, the most uncommon position pairing for twins.
This is honestly a most uncooperative child...s/he will probably insist on starting my labor during church, which will mean we'll have to leave early (probably on a night we have story time duty, too) and miss all the fun. I wonder if it would be bad form to grab communion on our way out, even if it's not "communion time" yet? I suppose we could just come home and have toast and grape juice instead...
Have a lovely week, all of you. And go visit the Yarn Cafe up in my neck of the woods...I went Sunday morning with my oldest friend (we're going on something like 24 years- hey Mel!!), and it was buckets of fun.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 06, 2005
a reason to be happy and a reason to be in suspense
For anyone who cares or might be curious, Over the Rhine has a new album coming out at the end of the month. If you preorder it, you get a signed copy and a nifty mystery treat! Last time they did this (that would be the release of Ohio in 2003) I got two lovely stickers, seen here (I know, the link is to some t-shirts, but that's what my stickers look like, ok?). I haven't ordered yet, so if anyone wants to go in with me and split shipping, let me know. The preorder is through pastemusic.com, so you could actually order anything on that site, not just Over the Rhine.
Two free songs from the album can be heard here.
Still no tour date scheduled...this child will be the only one of mine born that did not get to attend a great concert in utero. Allie got to go to Sunny Day Real Estate on their final tour (The Rising Tide), and Gabe and Eva went with me to Over the Rhine's Films for Radio show. It just doesn't seem fair. But then, we don't get out as much as we used to...
Two people asked tonight at the Porch, so in case anyone else was wondering but didn't ask, no, we're not 100% positive there's only one baby in there. I go back and forth on what I think, but Jeff's pretty sure it's one. We'll see, I guess...I just have to hope that the baby (babies?) aren't born on April 1st, or I'm going to have a hard time convincing anyone I'm not kidding when I call. When s/he or they arrive, I'll make sure something gets posted, even if it's only a link to more info on Jeff's blog.
Two free songs from the album can be heard here.
Still no tour date scheduled...this child will be the only one of mine born that did not get to attend a great concert in utero. Allie got to go to Sunny Day Real Estate on their final tour (The Rising Tide), and Gabe and Eva went with me to Over the Rhine's Films for Radio show. It just doesn't seem fair. But then, we don't get out as much as we used to...
Two people asked tonight at the Porch, so in case anyone else was wondering but didn't ask, no, we're not 100% positive there's only one baby in there. I go back and forth on what I think, but Jeff's pretty sure it's one. We'll see, I guess...I just have to hope that the baby (babies?) aren't born on April 1st, or I'm going to have a hard time convincing anyone I'm not kidding when I call. When s/he or they arrive, I'll make sure something gets posted, even if it's only a link to more info on Jeff's blog.
And on another note...
I'm so happy to see guys commenting on my blog! Not that I don't love it when girls do, but I like knowing that I have guy readers, at least occasionally :)
So much happening...
I don't know where to start. The big news of the day was that I put Gabe and Eva back in cloth diapers, hooray! They're going to wear a disposeable at night until I figure out a night-time diapering system, but even only using cloth during the day has made me very happy. And my mom said I'd never be able to keep up with cloth diapering two babies!
I'll see my midwife for my last biweekly appointment early this week. Yes, it's already time to move up to weekly visits, which is very scary- everything is going too fast! In about 20 days, I'll be full-term and ready to go anytime. Birth kit is almost completely assembled, and I'll feel better when that's done. Still have to wash the birth pool and clean the house. Ugh. I cleaned quite a bit (for me) today with Jeff gone, but I have half the house *plus* to go. Allie has been helping quite a bit- reminding me to buy things for the birth kit, deciding what stuff can be thrown away, being generally entertaining...actually, all three kids have been really cute, but Gabe's insistence on bouncing on my gigantic belly is wearing thin. Of the three, I think he's the only one who has no concept whatsoever that I'm going to have a baby soon. Or that I have the feeling he's about to become the lone boy in a tribe of girls (since this is our last, there's no chance of a brother in his future if this baby's a girl, as I suspect).
Beyond mundane domestic matters, not much to report. This pregnancy is still idyllic enough that I feel incredibly guilty watching the other moms-to-be at church suffer. The simple fact that I can still comfortably carry a crabby, sleepy, 40-pound Allie from the van to the couch is a blessing I would never have expected to have this far down the pregnancy highway (34 weeks, if you're counting). Especially as enormous as I seem to be.
Still no baby dreams for me. The count for other people's dreams about this baby is one boy dream, one girl dream, one boy/girl twins dream, and one girl/girl twins dream. Can we try for a little consistency here, people? I'm begging you!
I'll see my midwife for my last biweekly appointment early this week. Yes, it's already time to move up to weekly visits, which is very scary- everything is going too fast! In about 20 days, I'll be full-term and ready to go anytime. Birth kit is almost completely assembled, and I'll feel better when that's done. Still have to wash the birth pool and clean the house. Ugh. I cleaned quite a bit (for me) today with Jeff gone, but I have half the house *plus* to go. Allie has been helping quite a bit- reminding me to buy things for the birth kit, deciding what stuff can be thrown away, being generally entertaining...actually, all three kids have been really cute, but Gabe's insistence on bouncing on my gigantic belly is wearing thin. Of the three, I think he's the only one who has no concept whatsoever that I'm going to have a baby soon. Or that I have the feeling he's about to become the lone boy in a tribe of girls (since this is our last, there's no chance of a brother in his future if this baby's a girl, as I suspect).
Beyond mundane domestic matters, not much to report. This pregnancy is still idyllic enough that I feel incredibly guilty watching the other moms-to-be at church suffer. The simple fact that I can still comfortably carry a crabby, sleepy, 40-pound Allie from the van to the couch is a blessing I would never have expected to have this far down the pregnancy highway (34 weeks, if you're counting). Especially as enormous as I seem to be.
Still no baby dreams for me. The count for other people's dreams about this baby is one boy dream, one girl dream, one boy/girl twins dream, and one girl/girl twins dream. Can we try for a little consistency here, people? I'm begging you!
Monday, February 14, 2005
the good and the bad
I finally got to see my midwife on Saturday! Yippee! I was beginning to think she was going to tell me we couldn't work together, what with the number of times I've canceled or rescheduled in the past two weeks.
My blood pressure and other preeclamptic symptoms are back to normal- hooray! Weight- at the doctor Tuesday I showed a total gain of 7 lbs, but my home scale is weighing 4 lbs lower than that- even though it weighs Allie the same (36 lbs) that she was at the doctor on the same scale I used. Huh. Well, anyway, everything is good in that department.
Measuring 32 cm @ 31 wks, which is right on, and for one baby :) Baby is positioned funny- really high (not even a tiny bit engaged, actually anti-engaged if that's possible). Heartbeat could be heard not near shoulder as expected, but near feet. Which caused my MW to poke around all over the place and declare that "it only feels like one baby..." and I would have to agree. Head down, which is good, and still posterior. As long as baby doesn't engage while still posterior, I'm not going to worry about it.
Bought a birthing tub...I think I'm going to use it, too! Everyone I know who has used one in labor would never consider any other way, so it's hard for me to even think it won't be great. Now to get my supplies list...then I think we're ready to go (even though I'm not term until Easter, it doesn't hurt to be done early if you're a procrastinator!).
I went out Saturday night with my mother-in-law...it was a lot of fun. I tend to think we don't have much in common, but we had a good time. I found out she is worried about me giving birth outside a hospital setting, so we talked about that, and I'm hoping she's able to let go of some of her worry. Her births were both pretty traumatic, so I'm sure that's part of what's bothering her. Even though my first birth was difficult and second was an emergency, I wouldn't call either one "traumatic", so I feel really blessed in that regard. I don't know if she'll want to see any of the study results I have access to, or if it would help her feel at peace about things, but I'm trying anyway. I have to have a talk with her daughter, though- apparently, she is very unhappy with our choices, and is feeding mom's fear rather than talking to the responsible party (me). I don't understand it, but this kind of "I'll gripe to my mom rather than talk to the person who I have a problem with, namely my sister-in-law" problem has existed pretty much as long as I've been her sister-in-law. 7.5 years, I guess that is. I'm getting a little tired of it. It's hard to accept someone's smiles and hugs when you know that days before they were on the phone attacking your beliefs and choices. It hurts- I tend to forget she can be like this until it slaps me in the face. I know our parenting crops up in conversation from time to time too, and that is my weak spot- even though I have no idea what she said, the fact that she has criticized me for my parenting choices makes me want to cry. It also makes me hope that her children will be devilspawn, but that's only in weak moments.
I'm not a confrontational person by any measure- I actively avoid confrontation, really- but I hate when people talk behind my back. Enough to get in their face a little. So I'm going to try to play nice and write a short little note about how happy I'd be to answer any questions she has. I want to meet this head-on (easy), but I also want to be diplomatic enough that everyone will still speak to me afterwards (hard). Wish me luck
My blood pressure and other preeclamptic symptoms are back to normal- hooray! Weight- at the doctor Tuesday I showed a total gain of 7 lbs, but my home scale is weighing 4 lbs lower than that- even though it weighs Allie the same (36 lbs) that she was at the doctor on the same scale I used. Huh. Well, anyway, everything is good in that department.
Measuring 32 cm @ 31 wks, which is right on, and for one baby :) Baby is positioned funny- really high (not even a tiny bit engaged, actually anti-engaged if that's possible). Heartbeat could be heard not near shoulder as expected, but near feet. Which caused my MW to poke around all over the place and declare that "it only feels like one baby..." and I would have to agree. Head down, which is good, and still posterior. As long as baby doesn't engage while still posterior, I'm not going to worry about it.
Bought a birthing tub...I think I'm going to use it, too! Everyone I know who has used one in labor would never consider any other way, so it's hard for me to even think it won't be great. Now to get my supplies list...then I think we're ready to go (even though I'm not term until Easter, it doesn't hurt to be done early if you're a procrastinator!).
I went out Saturday night with my mother-in-law...it was a lot of fun. I tend to think we don't have much in common, but we had a good time. I found out she is worried about me giving birth outside a hospital setting, so we talked about that, and I'm hoping she's able to let go of some of her worry. Her births were both pretty traumatic, so I'm sure that's part of what's bothering her. Even though my first birth was difficult and second was an emergency, I wouldn't call either one "traumatic", so I feel really blessed in that regard. I don't know if she'll want to see any of the study results I have access to, or if it would help her feel at peace about things, but I'm trying anyway. I have to have a talk with her daughter, though- apparently, she is very unhappy with our choices, and is feeding mom's fear rather than talking to the responsible party (me). I don't understand it, but this kind of "I'll gripe to my mom rather than talk to the person who I have a problem with, namely my sister-in-law" problem has existed pretty much as long as I've been her sister-in-law. 7.5 years, I guess that is. I'm getting a little tired of it. It's hard to accept someone's smiles and hugs when you know that days before they were on the phone attacking your beliefs and choices. It hurts- I tend to forget she can be like this until it slaps me in the face. I know our parenting crops up in conversation from time to time too, and that is my weak spot- even though I have no idea what she said, the fact that she has criticized me for my parenting choices makes me want to cry. It also makes me hope that her children will be devilspawn, but that's only in weak moments.
I'm not a confrontational person by any measure- I actively avoid confrontation, really- but I hate when people talk behind my back. Enough to get in their face a little. So I'm going to try to play nice and write a short little note about how happy I'd be to answer any questions she has. I want to meet this head-on (easy), but I also want to be diplomatic enough that everyone will still speak to me afterwards (hard). Wish me luck
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