Well, I've now gone from being on the verge of tears all the way home last night (and since then) to crying in front of my computer for no reason I can pin down. I mean, I cry easily, but rarely without a reason. Even at my most depressed, I at least have a manufactured reason. This is a little scary. Thank goodness Allie is playing with her friends in the yard, so I don't have to try to explain. Whenever she sees me cry, she tries so hard to cheer me up, that I just cry harder. And I'm afraid she may take my tears personally, like she's done something wrong. I don't want her to internalize that message the way I adopted the idea that I was to blame for my parents' anger and bickering and abuse.
Oh God, what is this about?